Do They Know? Do they freakin' care?

You know, I was just putting together a CD of Christmas songs and I'm listening to "Do They Know It's Christmas?" What a piss-poor, rude, obnoxious, zealous Judeo-Christian-centric song that is! First off, they are predominantly Muslim in Africa. So no, they don't fucking CARE if it's Christmas or not. In fact, they don't care so much so that they're brethren had to fly a couple planes into some predominantly Christian buildings just to show how much they don't care about Christmas or the whole Western aka Christian way of life. "It's Christmas time and there's no need to be afraid." Well, the Bush administration would have you believe differently.

"Say a prayer for the Other ones." Fuck them. They took those little kids right after the plane crashed on the island. And they dress in rags and left Charlie for dead hanging in a tree. They kidnapped Michael's kid off the boat. Screw the Others . . . oh, that line wasn't about the Others on Lost? Never mind.

"Where the only bells that are ringing are the clanging chimes of doom." Man, you just don't hear enough about chimes of doom in Christmas songs these days. Nothing makes it feel more like a Christmas song than a few reindeer bells and a good mention of doom, oh yeah, and dread and fear too. That's lyrical gold right there.

And "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time." Yeah, 'cause that's just what they need is a fucking blizzard right now. That would clear up all their troubles and woes. "Look, Boateng, it is snowing. Now I will have to walk five miles up hill both ways in the snow with no shoes - in a fucking loincloth - to get to the market. Where's MY fucking global warming?!"

"Here's to you, raise a glass for everyone, here's to them, underneath that burning sun." Yeah, shit, we're partying it the fuck up over here. We spent more money on beer alone for this party than your whole village makes in a year. So, hey, bottom's up! Enjoy that burning fucking sun though. Must be rough.

And my absolute favorite line in that song is the one Bono belts out. "Tonight thank God it's them instead of you." That is one of the rudest, most insensitive things I've ever heard in my life. "Yeah, God, thanks for letting them starve and not me. Phew! Nice one. Yay, God." It is my opinion that Bono is so deeply involved in charities to this day just out of guilt and shame for getting that line pulled out of a hat and belting it out with such gusto.

Even notice how it's Sting singing, then Bono comes in harmonizing. Then for that last line Sting steps out as if to say, "I ain't touching that line with a ten foot pole." Shoved Bono right under the bus on that one.


That's my rant for today. Just had to get that out while it was fresh in my mind.

Merry X-mas to all, and to all a good night. Except for the Africans. 'Cause Santa's not sliding down the chimney into your thatch roof hut this Christmas. Sorry.